Rod, the nihilistic pilgarlic Went to the bar quick, Feeling like scree being nudged.   If you’re gonna be a quidnunc , He wanted to get drunk, Because of what he did with the odious Italian judge.   He was married to Vera, a virago , And I sure even my Ma knows, They can be damn lippy.   A walking doryphore , Talking more than a whore, A 100% xanthippe .   They had a bobblehead boy, A real hobblede...

As usual I’m late to the party, and as usual I’m breaking some of the rules, and as usual my stories are sucktacular. (Thanks for the word, SC)     Disgruntled matadors Are tired of bullshit.     Sleepy King honoring medieval soldier, Calls it a Knight.     Levee broke. Girlfriend left. Damn dyke.     Lincoln was warned about an assassin’s bullet, But it went in one ear and out the ot...

They have been missing for days, A family disappeared without a clue, The whole town has been fazed, And the police don't know what to do.   Do you know how easy it was to excute my plan? It's because I'm fucking perfect, I took, stole the whole damn clan, Without this chef ever being a suspect.   Volunteers have joined in the search, Even the Feds have climb aboard, And the good people of the church, Have even o...

Dear Whoever or Whomever (which is it? Like I should care right now)   Here I am writing a letter wanting my voice to be heard.   I’m going to die today or I should say every person on the planet is going to die today. War is coming. We aren’t fighting another country. We are fighting another planet . Yes, you heard me right. Remember all those books, TV shows and movies that showed other life forms invading our planet? Well, it’s abo...

Here it is in the year 2112, So what's the big Rush?, We all wanna ride, On the next space bus.   No need for a long explanation, I will be terse, We can now visit any planet, In our universe.   Trips only take minutes, The longest an hour flight, In fact our lowest gear, Is the speed of light.   You can travel anywhere, From Mercury to Mars, And they say in 10 years, We'll all have space cars. ...

My dove flew high. Coo! Don't know what else to say, so... I'll just say Hi. Cool?

First line is five words Then this line is seven words And this one is five.

Sketch artist in gunfight Draws Fast Constipated politician Is full of sh*t. Chinese marathoner didn't finish. Hits Wall. Rock climber nearly falls. Real cliffhanger. Paris teller who retired, Left Bank. Arrogant jockey Won't get off high horse.

"I'm no hero", I tell myself out loud as I look in the rearview mirror again for the umpteenth time. I'm headed from town hall where I just received a plaque and the key to the city for rescuing 2 little girls. It's the 2nd honor I received. Yesterday in a town 10 miles east of here (the 2 girls' hometown) I was given a medal and a huge gift card from Wal-Mart. All the papers in the surrounding areas did stories on me, even some national media carried it. Out of all the things I experience...

I feel sick. My stomach is turning. At first from not eating all day then from anxiety. See, it's still light out, and I hardly ever leave home while the sun is still out. I'm no vampire, but I am a monster. A modern day Elephant Man. I live in New York City. My sister and I share an apartment on the 14th floor. Apartment 14B. I know it says 14th floor, but since there's no 13th floor, we technically live on the 13th floor. They say the number 13 is bad luck, well it has been for me and m...

Here is my attempt at Kelly's Writing Challenge. Link I like to thank Maso for the inspiration. Link He: Here I sit all wet About a woman I rather forget Don't want to sound too upset Only wish we never met Being stuck is a trial Hate it here on this isle Bitching isn't my style But Hell I been here awhile As I began to scream and wail She showed up at my jail And being I was a male I was ready to set sail But i didn't get my ...

Think I'll have another drink, Just give me the bottle, I don't want know one to think That I'm a role model. Think I'll have another swig, Look at the man stare, He may be very big, But I really don't care. Think I'll have another glass, Feeling my temper cooking, About to whip some ass, If he doesn't stop looking. Think I'll have another taste, As the starer looks at me tough, I'm about to get in his face, For see of him I had enough. Think I'll have another shot, ...