I decided to write a very important article. Maybe the most important article of 2008. Maybe ever.  Since I not one to write serious blogs about politics, religion or current events you’re probably asking yourselves why I’m writing it and not someone else who is better at those kind of articles. You asked a great question. Why indeed am I writing it? Let’s look at my blog here at JU. I been a member here since June 17, 2005, and this will be my 54th article. Okay, not...

Rod, the nihilistic pilgarlicWent to the bar quick,Feeling like scree being nudged. If you’re gonna be a quidnunc, He wanted to get drunk,Because of what he did with the odious Italian judge. He was married to Vera, a virago,And I sure even my Ma knows,They can be damn lippy. A walking doryphore,Talking more than a whore,A 100% xanthippe. They had a bobblehead boy,A real hobbledehoy,And at best, he could only mumble some. His brain was incondite,A natural jeju...

As usual I’m late to the party, and as usual I’m breaking some of the rules, and as usual my stories are sucktacular. (Thanks for the word, SC)  Disgruntled matadorsAre tired of bullshit.  Sleepy King honoring medieval soldier,Calls it a Knight.  Levee broke.Girlfriend left.Damn dyke.  Lincoln was warned about an assassin’s bullet,But it went in one ear and out the other.  Japanese chef in wheelchairCan’t wok..  ...

I should be President because I have so many outstanding qualities of other great Presidents. It’s uncanny the similarities. Here are my top 12 qualities I shared with other Presidents. 1. The perfect teeth of George Washington. 2. The durability to remain in office of William Henry Harrison. 3. The model-like looks of Abraham Lincoln. 4. The dynamic personality of Chester A. Arthur. 5. The svelte body of William Howard Taft. 6. The libido of John F. Kenn...

They have been missing for days,

A family disappeared without a clue,

The whole town has been fazed,

And the police don't know what to do.

 

Do you know how easy it was to excute my plan?

It's because I'm fucking perfect,

I took, stole the whole damn clan,

Without this chef ever being a suspect.

 

Volunteers have joined in the search,

Even the Feds have climb aboard,

And the good people of the church,

Have even offered a reward.

 

I was...

Dear Whoever or Whomever (which is it? Like I should care right now)

 Here I am writing a letter wanting my voice to be heard.  I’m going to die today or I should say every person on the planet is going to die today. War is coming. We aren’t fighting another country. We are fighting another planet. Yes, you heard me right. Remember all those books, TV shows and movies that showed other life forms invading our planet? Well, it’s about to really happen. Why are ...

Here it is in the year 2112,

So what's the big Rush?,

We all wanna ride,

On the next space bus.

 

No need for a long explanation,

I will be terse,

We can now visit any planet,

In our universe.

 

Trips only take minutes,

The longest an hour flight,

In fact our lowest gear,

Is the speed of light.

 

You can travel anywhere,

From Mercury to Mars,

And they say in 10 years,

We'll all have space cars.

 

Want to have a fun n...

I don’t know how I got here at Mick Jaggar’s lawyer’s office. Well, I do but … Let me start at the beginning. Last month, I had been playing  poker a lot online but I wanted to play in live tournaments so I flew to L.A. to play a few tournaments at the Commerce casino. I entered one and had been playing all day making the final table. In fact, I had made it to the final three players, which meant at least a 6-figure payday, when I heard a familiar voice. It was...

He always wanted a house of glass,

A fancy one on the beach,

But he wasn't from the upper class,

So he figured it was out of reach.

 

Karma made him win the Lotto,

Thankfully he's a Buddhist.

Bought the house so now he can model,

Yes, he's also a nudist.

 

His need for people to see him nude,

Is like a drug for a junkie,

He doesn't think it's a bit crude,

For folks to see his monkey.

 

It's why he got this see-through abode,

He loves...

My dove flew high. Coo!
Don't know what else to say, so...
I'll just say Hi. Cool?

First line is five words
Then this line is seven words
And this one is five.

Has there been movies that you find with each repeated viewing it simply gets better and better? Of course there's movies I loved from the the first time I seen it, and though I may have since then seen it numerous times I still find it every bit as good.

I will give three examples. Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption and Casablanca all are movies I loved from the very first viewing. If I were to see any of those 3 today I would still love them. But what about movies you didn't love the f...

Will Ferrell and his writing partner Adam McKay have launched a new site a few weeks ago. FunnyOrDie.com is a comedy video site. Anyone can upload any video clip they find funny. Kinda like YouTube, but the only difference will be your clip will be rated by viewers. Viewers will either find it funny or it will die. Too many negative reviews and it will be banished. I think they have a section for the rejected videos.

The first homemade video on there is done by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. I...

Sketch artist in gunfight
Draws Fast


Constipated politician
Is full of sh*t.


Chinese marathoner didn't finish.
Hits Wall.


Rock climber nearly falls.
Real cliffhanger.


Paris teller who retired,
Left Bank.


Arrogant jockey
Won't get off high horse.

The Definitive 200 is a list developed by the National Association of Recording Merchandisers. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame released the list to distinguish this diverse collection of music's most popular and influential albums. It what they they think should be in everyone's collection.

Out of the 200, how many do you own?
How many do you want?
How many would you never own?
How many would you wouldn't take even if they were a gift?
Which are you favorites?
What albums that aren't on ...