uDigItTheMost's Articles In Humor » Page 2
April 17, 2006 by uDigItTheMost
Here is what happened to me one day last week. Before I get to my rants. Let me start by saying when I get frustrated at traffic jams, grocery stores or wherever one of my favorite things to say is "COME ON!" I usually follow it with "What the Hell is going on?" or "Can't people drive in this town" or "Jesus! I don't believe this". My first rant. I'm driving down the road. No cars in front of me no cars behind me I'm the only car going in my direction. Yet a driver decides to pull out ...
April 17, 2006 by uDigItTheMost
Here is what happened to me one day last week. Before I get to my rants. Let me start by saying when I get frustrated at traffic jams, grocery stores or wherever one of my favorite things to say is "COME ON!" I usually follow it with "What the Hell is going on?" or "Can't people drive in this town" or "Jesus! I don't believe this". My first rant. I'm driving down the road. No cars in front of me no cars behind me I'm the only car going in my direction. Yet a driver decides to pull out ...
February 19, 2006 by uDigItTheMost
When I was a mere lad I always wanted facial hair. A cool moustache or a finely trimmed beard. The thought of shaving, to me, was the coolest. When I turned 13 my moustache started slowly coming in and my chin had a few hairs. Not exactly a beard though. In fact, if you were more than 5 feet away you would have thought it was a food stain from lunch or dinner. Let's just say I could have used a cat to shave. Fast forward to present day and how I miss my younger days. I'm sick sick sick of ...
February 19, 2006 by uDigItTheMost
When I was a mere lad I always wanted facial hair. A cool moustache or a finely trimmed beard. The thought of shaving, to me, was the coolest. When I turned 13 my moustache started slowly coming in and my chin had a few hairs. Not exactly a beard though. In fact, if you were more than 5 feet away you would have thought it was a food stain from lunch or dinner. Let's just say I could have used a cat to shave. Fast forward to present day and how I miss my younger days. I'm sick sick sick of ...
January 15, 2006 by uDigItTheMost
Looking at the paper to see what's playing at the dollar movies I see the movie "The Fog". A remake of John Carpenter's 1980 movie. It got me thinking of my experience with "The Fog". Several years ago a friend and I decided to enjoy some nightlife after work. We worked in a small town that had one really happening place. So of course we head there first. When we get there it's not crowded at all, in fact it's almost dead. Immediately we're bummed. Where's all the women? We then head fo...
January 15, 2006 by uDigItTheMost
Looking at the paper to see what's playing at the dollar movies I see the movie "The Fog". A remake of John Carpenter's 1980 movie. It got me thinking of my experience with "The Fog". Several years ago a friend and I decided to enjoy some nightlife after work. We worked in a small town that had one really happening place. So of course we head there first. When we get there it's not crowded at all, in fact it's almost dead. Immediately we're bummed. Where's all the women? We then head fo...
December 24, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
Here are some jokes my brother sent in a e-mail last year. SANTA'S BAD DAY One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to har...
December 24, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
Here are some jokes my brother sent in a e-mail last year. SANTA'S BAD DAY One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to har...
December 19, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
It must've been the way I slept, but I woke up this morning with a big stiff one. Maybe it was the way I had the pillows last night. I couldn't even turn, everytime I did I felt pain. A sharp pain. I haven't felt pain from it being stiff in a long time. My GF even offered to massage it for me, but I turned her down. Yes, guys, I turned her down. Getting a massage for a stiff NECK does not help. It actually hurts. My neck was so sore. Maybe I slept with the pillows too high. I couldn't even...
December 19, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
It must've been the way I slept, but I woke up this morning with a big stiff one. Maybe it was the way I had the pillows last night. I couldn't even turn, everytime I did I felt pain. A sharp pain. I haven't felt pain from it being stiff in a long time. My GF even offered to massage it for me, but I turned her down. Yes, guys, I turned her down. Getting a massage for a stiff NECK does not help. It actually hurts. My neck was so sore. Maybe I slept with the pillows too high. I couldn't even...
October 27, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
As we get nearer to Halloween I'm seeing more and more ads for Haunted Houses. I'm really not a fan of them. It's not that I'm scared, I just never had great experiences at them. When I was 12, some of my friends and I went to a Haunted House. It was fun until the little sister of one of my friends threw up all over my new shoes. They should have put that in their ad, "Our house is so scary you'll puke on someone's shoes". When I was 15 I was excited about Halloween. I was going to wor...
October 27, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
As we get nearer to Halloween I'm seeing more and more ads for Haunted Houses. I'm really not a fan of them. It's not that I'm scared, I just never had great experiences at them. When I was 12, some of my friends and I went to a Haunted House. It was fun until the little sister of one of my friends threw up all over my new shoes. They should have put that in their ad, "Our house is so scary you'll puke on someone's shoes". When I was 15 I was excited about Halloween. I was going to wor...
October 26, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
Saturday night my GF's family took us out to dinner for her birthday. We all went to a buffet place. With her family and us there was 11 of us. I have met all of her family before so this article isn't about meeting them for the first time. When I was in line waiting to get a fat juicy medium rare steak, I saw something that made me have a flashback. Some years back while living in Buffalo, I was at another buffet place, the reason? I was meeting for the first time the parents of the woman...
October 26, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
Saturday night my GF's family took us out to dinner for her birthday. We all went to a buffet place. With her family and us there was 11 of us. I have met all of her family before so this article isn't about meeting them for the first time. When I was in line waiting to get a fat juicy medium rare steak, I saw something that made me have a flashback. Some years back while living in Buffalo, I was at another buffet place, the reason? I was meeting for the first time the parents of the woman...
October 12, 2005 by uDigItTheMost
Sunday night while watching television, my GF asked me if I noticed anything about her socks. I'm pretty proud of myself, despite watching "Desperate Housewives", more specifically Eva Longoria, I did notice that she had on two different socks. Now had it been Salma Hayek on the screen I might not had notice if one foot was bare and the other in a clown shoe. It wasn't as bad as she thought. Both were white, the same length and since the only difference was the color stitching at the toes...