My Drive on a Heavy Foggy Night

The Thickest Ever

Published on January 15, 2006 By uDigItTheMost In Humor

Looking at the paper to see what's playing at the dollar movies I see the movie "The Fog". A remake of John Carpenter's 1980 movie. It got me thinking of my experience with "The Fog".

Several years ago a friend and I decided to enjoy some nightlife after work. We worked in a small town that had one really happening place. So of course we head there first. When we get there it's not crowded at all, in fact it's almost dead. Immediately we're bummed. Where's all the women?

We then head for another place that my friend says is usually crowded on a Thursday night. When we get there I realize it's a bar but a bar in a bowling alley. Yes, a bowling alley. Hey, I told you it was a small town (I'll spare you any gutter jokes). When we get to the door we hear music blaring loud as hell. Smiles come to our faces and we eagerly go in and there it was. Yes, the bowling bar was emptier than the happening place.

Frustrated we go back to the car trying to decide what to do next. We come up with a solution. There's a college town 25 miles west of us, which has tons of bars which equals tons of college women. So it's settled we are definitely going there.

It was a warm muggy October night. It had been raining all day but fortunately it hadn't at all since we got off at work. We get on the road and are on the way when we run into fog. Not any fog I seen before either. This fog was the coolest I ever seen. As we drove down that dark country road it was like going through a tunnel of fog. The way the moonlight hit it it was like something out of a movie. Like one of those scenes in a sci-fi movie where the spaceship hits warp speed or a jet is flying through pockets of clouds. I wish I had it recorded.

Well we finally get to the college town. The first 2 places we go are just as dead as the places we left. We remember a club downtown so we go there, and what do you know? Jackpot! The club is jumping. In fact, it's so crowded there's a long line down the sidewalk. We look at each other deciding if we want to wait. As I'm telling him there's NO WAY I'm waiting in a long line outside especially if it might rain, I notice about 20 attractive women in the same line.

So I'm waiting in line and ... it starts sprinkling. By this time I had been talking to some of the women so a tropical storm could be on it's way and I wasn't moving.

All the earlier things that happened leading up to my conversations with the lovely women had long left my head, but our bad luck was about to pay a visit again. My friend said, "I forgot my wallet". "Okay that's no big deal", I told him. "I got it covered, how much you need?" "No", he said."I don't have my ID with me." Oh -oh! You can figure out what happened next. They didn't let him in the club. Well I'm not going to leave my buddy out in the cold so I leave the women and stay with my friend .... reluctantly.

I told him I bet we could drive to his house and back to the women .. er .. um ... I mean the club in no time. So we run to my car, jump in, and like a bat out of hell race down the street in a way that've made Bo and Luke Duke proud.

At least it wasn't raining anymore, and thank goodness no fog. Well, no fog YET. I know I said earlier how cool and great the fog was but when it came to my social life I ain't go no damn time for weather delays. We're just a motoring along down the country road now 'cause we know what's at the finish line.

Suddenly the fog reappears. DAMN IT!! It's not like the fog we seen earlier. This is a very light fog, but as we continued on our journey the fog gets heavier and heavier. My friend and I just look at each other, shocked on the thickness of the fog.

Amazingly when we look out the sides into the farmland it was clear as can be. My friend says," Why is there only heavy fog on the road?" I tell him, " I don't know. It's probably 'cause the road is hot and the air is cold." Yes, I actually said that. No laughing at me please.

What's the old saying? The fog was so thick you could cut it with a knife. This fog was so thick you might need a chainsaw. I could no longer see out of my front windshield. But did I slow down? Of course not. After talking with those beautiful women I was thinking with my other head.

By this time we got behind a car who is not only going slow but riding their brakes. Thank God they were though because without their brake lights on I wouldn't have been able to see them. We come to this big intersection in the middle of nowhere. It had blinking yellow traffic lights shining all four ways. The car in front still has it's brake lights on, but this time they had actually stopped smack in the middle of the intersection. I seen it almost too late. I swerved my speeding car to the right, barely missing the stopped car. When my car went too far right I swerved back left and slammed on the brakes. My friend and I screaming the whole time like teenagers in a Freddy or Jason movie. We spun around, and in a way that would've made them Duke boys once again proud.

I guess in all my yelling and grabbing at the steering wheel I must've hit the wipers 'cause soon as we came to a complete stop the wipers started going and cleared all the fog away. Yes, I'm sad to say the thickest fog in the history of Wood County wasn't fog at all, but just frost on my window. Let me say that one more time, frost on my window.

Well, needless to say, I was in no mood to go back to the women or the club or anywhere. With my heart still pumping at record pace I just wanted to go home, and go home at a very safe speed. I just wanted to change my underwear and lay down in my bed.

Now here's the good part. We (my friend and I) were at no time under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Everything happened with me having a clear mind. Well maybe clear of alcohol and drugs, but the fog in my head may have been the thickest ever.

Comments

InBloom

on Jan 16, 2006

~~I'm sad to say the thickest fog in the history of Wood County wasn't fog at all, but just frost on my window. Let me say that one more time, frost on my window.~~

~~the fog in my head may have been the thickest ever.~~

And you call ME a goofball...glad to see you have some dorky moments yourself! Just kidding with ya, honey.

uDigItTheMost

on Jan 16, 2006

--- And you call ME a goofball...glad to see you have some dorky moments yourself! Just kidding with ya, honey.---

I've had many "dorky moments". I just hide them well.

Dr Guy

on Jan 16, 2006

You would make a good Duke Boy!

uDigItTheMost

on Jan 17, 2006

---You would make a good Duke Boy!---

Now if I can get InBloom to wear some Daisy Dukes.

foreverserenity

on Feb 01, 2006

Oh Chris I'm just getting to this and I'm laughing so hard! This would have made a nice half hour plot of one those movies, like Twilight Zone or something..

! I love this story! You should dig up more from your past and share. ...Hehehe.....

Dr Guy

on Feb 01, 2006

Now if I can get InBloom to wear some Daisy Dukes.

If you do, Pictures are a deffinite requirement!

uDigItTheMost

on Feb 02, 2006

---Oh Chris I'm just getting to this and I'm laughing so hard! This would have made a nice half hour plot of one those movies, like Twilight Zone or something..! I love this story! You should dig up more from your past and share. ...Hehehe.....---

Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

uDigItTheMost

on Feb 02, 2006

---Now if I can get InBloom to wear some Daisy Dukes.

If you do, Pictures are a deffinite requirement!---

I'm sure for a small fee we can work something out.

new-age nomad

on Feb 18, 2006

Hi! I got a good laugh out of this. Thought you should know that.....

I rule.

Trinitie

uDigItTheMost

on Feb 19, 2006

---Hi! I got a good laugh out of this. Thought you should know that.....

I rule.

Trinitie---

I bet you do rule ... and I'm glad you liked it.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!