Saturday night my GF's family took us out to dinner for her birthday. We all went to a buffet place. With her family and us there was 11 of us. I have met all of her family before so this article isn't about meeting them for the first time. When I was in line waiting to get a fat juicy medium rare steak, I saw something that made me have a flashback.
Some years back while living in Buffalo, I was at another buffet place, the reason? I was meeting for the first time the parents of the woman I was living with. We decided on a buffet restaurant because her father had a love for buffets ( I bet he'd love Vegas). Everything was going okay, her father and I got along as if we were old college buddies. It could've been the vast array of food he was enjoying, but maybe he really did find my sparkling personality engaging. I don't think her mother was having the same experience. I seen the Guards at Buckingham Palace with happier expressions.
I'm not into desserts. I have always said that if I was still hungry by dessert time then something seriously went wrong during the main course. But there I was walking around looking at all the desserts when I saw chocolate mousse. The woman I was living with loved chocolate mousse, so I grabbed a bowl and filled it up to the top. I walked back to our table and said, "Look what they had up there. Chocolate mousse, and I brought you some. I just want a taste." She said, "You sure? I can't eat all of this". "Nah", I said, "I seen something else I want." I know I said I didn't like desserts but the "something else" I seen was a dessert.
Right next to the chocolate mousse was two other similar desserts. One strawberry and one vanilla. I took another bowl, and put some of the whipped strawberry cream in it. I sat back down and try it, it wasn't as good as the chocolate one but it was still tasty. Now it was time to go get the vanilla one. I love vanilla. Vanilla ice cream, vanilla pudding, vanilla wafers. Yummy! I get up there but this time no bowl will do. I grab one of the big dinner plates, and load it up with whipped vanilla cream. So as I sit down her mother says, "Jesus! You must love sweets!" "OMIGOD! It's alive! She CAN talk", I'm thinking but I tell her, "Not really but I love vanilla."
Her mother's enthusiasm for my giant plate of dessert draws the attention of my ex and her father, so all three of them are now looking at me as if they were watching a celebrity at Spago's or something. I thought to myself, "They want a show! I'll give them a show!" I grabbed my spoon and dug it in my whipped vanilla cream, and I put a healthy amount into my mouth smiling. "Mmm", I started to say followed by "AGH", followed by me spitting the food back out. "That's butter!", I screamed. Yes, my whipped vanilla cream was actually butter.
All three was still looking at me, but her mother was laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks. Everyone else started laughing, even me. I drank the rest of my Pepsi down to get the taste of butter out of my mouth. A waitress came over to ask if I wanted a refill, and to ask if we needed anything else. She never made eye contact with me. Her eyes were locked onto my big plate of butter, so much so she couldn't even get her question out right. She said, "Is ... there ... anything ... else ... I ... can ... get ... for ... you ?", and her eyes never left my plate. So I ducked my head down by the plate until I made eye contact with her and told her, "Can I have some more bread to go with my butter?" Well my ex's mother loved it, she spit out her water laughing. Well at least her and I ended up talking more, so something good came out of it.
Okay back to Saturday night and the thing I seen to make me have the flashback. It was a big salad bowl of butter. I got my steak, grabbed a baked potato, and headed for the butter. Fortunately the restaurant had it's butter with other items you can add to a baked potato. Like cheese, sour cream, bacon bits and chives. As I was getting the butter I asked a person behind the buffet, "Is this butter?" She said, "Yes" "It's not some kind of vanilla dessert?", I asked. She asked, "Excuse me?" "Nevermind, I'll take my chances."
Remember people it never hurts to ask if it's butter or not. BTW ... it really was butter, and thank God, I had no desire to eat a baked potato with whipped vanilla cream, especially with a bigger audience.