It's a New Year. I never give New Year's much thought. Fuck resolutions and all that bullshit. I don't have time for them.

Don't get me wrong I have no problems with other people who make a list of them for the upcoming year with your "I'm going to quit" somethings. I'm going to quit smoking, drinking, overeating, being an asshole, etc. etc. etc.

Why wait until now to start? Why wait to fucking January? Why because that month starts with a J? Then why didn't you start last July?

I had a point somewhere I wanted to make, but I lost my train of thought. That or I never had a point.

What I'm trying to say is this year I stopped and actually considered resolutions but not really. I think I was more reflecting on life, not just my life but life in general, and also death in general. Things always change. Life gets better or life gets worse; rarely does it stay the same.

For a second a few days ago, I was wishing I could freeze time but why would I want that? I'm in a good place in my life and I honestly feel it's only going to get better, so why in the hell would I want to freeze time?

Is it because my parents are both in their late 60s? Why think about it now as the year changes and not in July? I say July so randomly but maybe it's not so arbitrary. My birthday is in July. So why not have these thoughts as I turn a year older instead of having them as it turns 2009? Also, if I'm good right now and I feel it's only going to get better does it mean I'm scared of being happy? Or on some level am I scared to find out "being happy" really isn't that special?

I really don't know, but the hell with resolutions, freezing time, and expectations. Life, if you're trying to tell me something then in the words of that great Rufus song, "Tell Me Something Good".