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Dig's Digs
Even I Got Tagged
5 Embarrassing Moments
Published on June 12, 2006 By
uDigItTheMost
In
Humor
Locamama tagged me. So here are my 5 embarrassing moments. I don't know if it's my 5 most embarrassing moments but they are the first 5 that came to mind. If I can still think of them years later I think it says something. Saying that though I hope you take even my sad ones as me being okay with them. As embarrassing it may have been to me I do hope you enjoy reading them.
EMBARRASSING MOMENT #1 - I was in the 3rd grade, and in the finals of the spelling bee. I not only was scared of spelling a word so wrong people watching would say to themselves, "There's a Q in the word reference?" but I was also terrified to death of being in front of an audience.
I don't know what happened but it was like I went into a zone. I was concentrating on spelling so much I blocked everything else out. I won my first and only spelling bee. I felt so lucky and happy to beat D. the smartest girl at my school. D. was a 3rd grader, who unfortunately was not only singled out by other 3rd graders but by the whole school. I never did find out why everyone thought her whole family was crazy.
As I was about to receive my blue ribbon the zone I was in disappeared, and I realized I was in fact in front of a big audience. My heart started pumping, my knees got weak and then D. grabbed me and gave me a big kiss and said, " I let Chris win 'cause he's my boyfriend." I turned 10 shades of red I was so embarrassed. Damn it, I knew I wasn't a great speller.
EMBARRASSING MOMENT #2 - At the end of 4th grade our class had a field trip to Deer Park. Deer Park was like a petting zoo. Not only did they have deer but other 4-legged creatures I never seen in person and was frightened to be near. All the animals would love to run towards anyone entering the park hoping they had food for them. Soon as they started running towards me I was trying to climb the fence out.
One of the workers there asked me if I wanted a cone. A cone was a big cone filled with what looked like brown pellets that obviously the 'evil' animals loved. But in the state I was in I didn't hear, "Would you like a cone?" I heard "Would you like a comb?" I screamed, "No!! No way am I combing a deer!!" The worker thought it was the funniest thing.
One the way home our bus stopped at McDonalds. We were all suppose to bring money to eat but before I left I changed my shorts and I forgot my money in my other shorts. Having no money I just stayed in my seat. When everybody got their food and were back on the bus the 6th grade teacher asked if everybody got something to eat. A girl sitting next to me told the teacher I didn't get anything. I said, "It's okay I'm not hungry" even though I was starving. The teacher turned to the other teachers and said, " If he's not eating because he has no money I'm not paying for it!" I was crushed. My teacher took me inside, bought me a meal and sat me beside her on the way home. She talked to me the whole trip back and made me feel better. Years later when I got my license I went back to the school looking for the 6th grade teacher. I wanted to kick his ass so bad.
EMBARRASSING MOMENT #3 - During the summer between 4th and 5th grade I went to go spend 2 weeks with my cousins. One morning my uncle their father decided to take us out for breakfast. I was all excited. Growing up poor I had never been to a restaurant. I been to McDonalds but never a real restaurant with real food.
The restaurant was a diner with lots of tables and one of those long counters that has stools for seats and faced the cook cooking right in front of you. We all took seats there since it was packed. I was glad to sit there. I thought it was so cool watching the cook handle all the orders at once. I was so fired up to be in a actual restaurant.
My uncle gave me a menu and told me, "When the waitress comes back tell her what you want". I started to get nervous. I never had ordered before I had no idea how to do it. The waitress came back, "You ready to order, honey?" "Umm .. they can order first", I said pointing to my cousins. My uncle yelled, "I thought you said you were ready? Order something now or you ain't eating." I got more nervous. "Come on, Chris you can do this. Read to her what you want you can do it, you're a good reader", I told myself. So I looked at the pretty waitress with all the confidence in the world and said," I would like 2 eggs any style, home fries or potatoes, sausage ham or bacon, with white or whole wheat toast" My uncle yelled, "What the hell? You don't order like that". The waitress smiled, pinched my cheek and told me, "You are so cute". She then went and shared it with not only all the other waitresses, but all the regulars, too.
EMBARRASSING MOMENT #4 - In the 8th grade, my class and the class next to us chose to have a wet paper towel war while our teachers went to a meeting. Both classes got busted and both classes got detention. Since there was so many of us they held detention in the cafeteria. They sat us down apart so we couldn't talk to no one, and if we tried we would get another day of detention. It was so boring.
I was seated in one corner of the cafeteria, and my GF was seated in the opposite corner. So she was in the seat as far away as possible. I tried looking for her and we caught each other's eye. She then started to mouth something. Being the expert lip reader I am I had no clue what she was trying to say to me. So she resorted to her own kind of sign language, which left me even more clueless. I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head - my sign language for I'm totally lost yet again.
Another obstacle was that R. was sitting in the middle of the lunchroom directly in our eye lines. R. was one of the biggest girls I ever seen. Not only did she look like a linebacker she WAS a linebacker on one of the school's football teams. Her head was huge. To this day I still think they had her helmet specially made. Guys would make fun of other guys saying, "You like R. you want her". Of course, no one said anything to her face. I once saw her beat the hell out of a guy on the stairs with his own stick.
Well back to my story. I'm getting frustrated because my GF's sign language has me baffled plus there's a head in my way which could be at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. All of a sudden R. raises her hand and yelled, yes she yelled, "Mr. Black , can you tell Chris _____ to stop staring at me!!!!" All my friends immediately start teasing me. Mr. Black says, "Everybody be quiet ! And Chris quit looking at R. Leave her alone." My great comeback went like this, " Ummm .. ahhh .. but ... but..." before I buried my head in my arms on the table. My friends let me know about it all year.
EMBARRASSING MOMENT #5 - In the summer between my junior and senior year, my father help me buy a car. Not just any car but a 1968 metallic forest green Firebird. No rust at all. It was in mint condition inside and out. I loved that car. I bought a new stereo and new rims for it. I washed and waxed "my baby" religiously. When I drove it in my head I was like Shaft. I was a bad mother - shut your mouth.
One day I passed a ice cream parlor/park, which had picnic tables on the side and basketball courts behind it. I seen a girl who I had liked for awhile so I turned around and drove back. She was sitting on one of the tables with 3 other girls and 2 boys. "Was one her boyfriend?", I wondered. It didn't matter to me. I had my car and with the size of my head now passing the female linebacker's in 8th grade I was extremely confident. I pull up, get out real cool, did my pimp walk to the parlor and got a banana shake. I did my pimp walk back to my car, making sure the girl I fancied was checking me out.
I get in my car, go to start it and nothing. The engine doesn't even turn over. I try and try and try and try but nothing. I try some praying now. Then I try starting it yet again several more times and still nothing. So I step out of the car and again all cool like. I act like I finished my shake and I am now going to throw it away. It's just an excuse to get to the phones on the other side. I go by the restrooms and call my father. My father comes to the park to check out my car. I'm really hoping it's nothing major since i was broke buying my new stereo and rims.
My father gets in the car and turns it. Again nothing. Then he sees the problem, and of course since my father can't do anything in a subtle way he screams in his big booming voice heard not only through the park but 2 counties over, " The reason the car wouldn't start is cause you left it in drive!!! You need to put it in park to start it, dumbass!!!" He then started the car. With all my coolness drained from my body I told my father to take my car home. No longer pimping I did my weak-legged Jerry Lewis walk back to my father's car and hurried out of there. Another classic moment for me.
Well I know it was long but ... my therapist said it would be good to share.
Now it's my turn to TAG someone. Is there anybody left?
I TAG MasonM, BakerStreet and Gideon.
Now I just hope they read this.
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16
Trudygolightly
on Jun 14, 2006
Sorry, Trudy I seen it too late. Looks like another embarrassing moment for me
the embarrassing moment is on me! meant that to be a sad face, and it came out a mad face!! now I"m red faced!
lot of that double and triple tag teaming happening here! you're a popular one ya know??
17
Trudygolightly
on Jun 14, 2006
that's why I tagged you - first - na na na Trudy. That's a joke so don't go getting offended.
Oh, my bad! no offense taken, first, last, in the middle, it still was a funny post he made huh?! good one udigit!
18
uDigItTheMost
on Jun 16, 2006
---Gee, Chris, these were really funny! I would have liked to see that pimp walk of yours and your dad {me ROFL] that's enough to make you do the Jerry Lewis walk!!!
OK Chris, you win hands down in my book! ROFL.....sorry but I can't stop! hehehe---
I don't think you really wanna see my walk since it IS so damn cool. And when I'm wearing my pimp hat too? Hell, you better watch out.
19
uDigItTheMost
on Jun 16, 2006
---lot of that double and triple tag teaming happening here! you're a popular one ya know??---
Nah, Trudy. In JU, I'm far from popular.
---good one udigit!---
Thank you, Trudy.
20
InBloom
on Jun 16, 2006
You can definitely tell an interesting story; I know you've had me riveted and howling with laughter many times...and to think that you have so many more that you can share!
21
uDigItTheMost
on Jun 18, 2006
---You can definitely tell an interesting story; I know you've had me riveted and howling with laughter many times...and to think that you have so many more that you can share! ---
And maybe I'll include you in some.
You know you should tell your dancing story.
22
dynamaso
on Jun 20, 2006
Excellent moments. Number 5 is really funny and reminds me of a time I did something similar except I called a road service man to come look at my car. Thankfully, there were no cute girls I was interested in watching me at the time. I still felt really embarrassed though. But a '68 Firebird! As a first car... Very cool. Do you still have it or is it long gone now?
23
uDigItTheMost
on Jun 21, 2006
---But a '68 Firebird! As a first car... Very cool. Do you still have it or is it long gone now?---
Unfortunately I sold it to a good friend of mine so I could go to Cancun with a girlfriend. 10 days later my friend totaled it.
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